Saturday, 19 February 2011


The title says it all now doesn't it? I am in therapy, I am trying to get better. In the times that I wasn't online anymore.. Things have gone downhill, horribly downhill.
I nearly attempted suicide for eating a sandwich, I threw up after drinking a glass of water, even though it was the only thing I had that day and I know it's bullshit.

I'd gone completely psycho. and that's when I decided that I was in need of help, some serious help. So I've been to the doctor and we are now busy with my therapy plan and shit like that. They tapped off some blood and the results are not as bad as last time.

I am not allowed to be on here, I am not allowed to stay in touch with any of you. Fact is, I can't go through this alone. I'm crying my eyes out every single day, I'm possibly more suicidal than I was before, but I can only hope, that things will get better.

SO if you don't think that I am a horrible cow, what I am thinking right now, and a weak bitch, also one of the many thoughts that keeps popping up.


Love, x


  1. oh I have missed you so much!
    I'm so sorry for what you've been through but you're definitely not alone! I really want to support you and be there for you.
    I will msn- add you :)

    take good care of yourself!

  2. so so SO good to hear from you hun. i'm sorry you've had such a glad time but i'm happy you're getting help. i hope it all goes well. will definitely be in contact xx

  3. Hello girls I have returned to blogger after trying to lose weight the healthy way and developing a better mental health I gave up I threw it all away to become "Delicate!!" Threw all my hard work away so I could eat from one extreme to another, to get to my goals quicker!! As many of us do we give up and think it will be easier and quicker to try a stupid diet which you only end up binging and back to square one!!

    I am ashamed of my choices and want to continue down my path of being healthy!! I can not believe I nearly threw it all away!! I have decided to give it my all 100% and nothing less!! I will reach my GOALS but in a HEALTHY way!!

    I too want to look great in a Bikini, in that Little Party Dress, in those CK Jeans but I want to ROCK them without feeling GUILTY, without LYING to all those around me and to not be KILLING MYSELF in the process!! I want to look HOT in ULTIMATE HEALTH and HAPPINESS, I want to have AWESOME SELF ESTEEM and I want to ROCK CONFIDENCE!! I want to earn the JOY of achieving HEALTH - HAPPINESS - SELF ESTEEM and CONFIDENCE the right way not the wrong way!! I want this more than anything in LIFE and I am going to get it !! It is now or never, there is no looking back!! Please support me and I will return the favor!! I choose to follow girls with distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through compared to "normal eating" girls they just think I am crazy!!

    I am putting this every where because I know I will influence at least one person out in this great big world to never give up and to keep trying!!

  4. It's good to hear from you. But my darling I really do hope you're ok, I hope you can get through this horrible time in your life. You are one of the strongest people I know. I use the word 'know' lightly, but I think I know a part of you, and you can do this.

    None of us are going to think you're a horrible cow, or a bitch, or anything of the sort. Quite the opposite if anything.

    All the best of luck with your therapy, stay strong.


  5. You're beautiful the way you are, please feel better, my sister is in a therapy session, even if i don't understand what you're going through, I can understand that the people around your are worried like i am worried about my sister