Friday, 5 November 2010
Can't make my own decisions, or make any with precision.
You say that I've been changing, that I am not simply aging.
Honestly, those lyrics really describe my life right now. I am changing, and feeling older, but that doesn't change a way how I feel about myself.
It doesn't change the desperation, the crying and the loneliness, though..
The "Ana-Community" technically, you guys, you make every day more bearable, because the way I see it, you are my family, people who really do understand me and who are not trying to "perfect" me, "correct" me or simply try to get me, "happy and healthy".
So thank you.
I've decided what I am going to do with my life though, today. Which is a big step but I think it's going to be great, I am going to study at the Rijks University Groningen aaand I am going to attend the "European Law School" which I'm totally thrilled about.
can't wait for next year, it means no food, lots of pills and the numbers dropping. It also means new friends, no parents controlling my life, hopefully hot guys and my own little place which I can decorate myself, best thing ever.
I haven't been able to read all of your blogs lately, I am so sorry but I am so busy lately, though I'd love it if you all could leave me a message on here how you have been and i'll send you a message or anything. I am honestly not being selfish or not caring about you lot, it's just that my life is a bit hectic at the moment.
Had a liquid fast from the morning until about 7, felt great. A little bit dizzy but honestly it made me feel great about myself for once, it made me feel in control again. Positive and happy day.
Though, and this is sort of pathetic I know, I just watched Greys Anatomy, S7E7 and I am just totally in shock. *spoilersspoilers*
Yang has suddenly decided to QUIT? What's wrong with her? I don't like her this way. I need her to be all hardcore and bitchy again. I can't handle the crying, sad, pathetic Yang thing that's going on. - Hopefully this doesn't mean that Yang will eventually quit the show, because that'd absolutely ruin Greys for me, because for me the whole show isn't about a "McDreamy" or a "McSteamy", it's about the whole Grey-Yang thing that's going on in the show.
They're absolutely amazing.
- Rant over.
Moving on moving on. Got a little party tomorrow which should be fun, don't have any money left, andddd i am shivering because it's so COLD. I need to buy me some uggs someday. It makes your legs look thinner, or well it seems to. Have. To. Bribe. The. Parents. - Been trying for 2 years now, will never work = # fail.
PLEASE do tell me how you've been and just a question, does anyone follow Leena her blog? (http://leenaleaner.blogspot.com)
Does anyone know where she's at? Every time she's back I am off drowning myself into self-pity and I just miss her loads really.
Honey if you read this I just hope your okay and happy, please message me?
Much love, A.Stone