Friday, 29 October 2010
i've never been as desperate as this before.
I just put a knife to my stomach and tried cutting off the fat.
So I had actually fooled myself that I could.. try and be normal, try and be healthy. And it all just went great until.. until right at this moment.
Cried and puked my guts out.
I am fat and useless, but I will be back on track as from tomorrow.
Wanna know, wanna know something funny?
It's all because of one guy.
- What a joke.
I need someone to talk to, preferably right now. No one is reading this, or cares, right?
I wouldn't care about a fat useless worthless piece of shit. Especially not because hey how could I have ever fooled myself that maybe I could be happy, when I would.. Would have been normal.
It all helps for about.. Two weeks. there have been TWO weeks that I have been eating like I used to eat at times that I had therapy. I ate three meals a day, sometimes more. Whenever I wanted to.
Never punished myself.
I'm suffering. and I need your help. If someone's even reading, listening, anything? Please, please just try and TALK sense into me. Please, please I need all of you.
I think Ana abandoned me, and it's ruining me. I had totally fooled myself that living without her would be bétter for me.
Talk to me. help me. please.