Sunday, 12 September 2010


You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true

I was one of the psychopath kids who didn't believe in fairy tales and who ruined them for others.

My physiotherapist who is looking after me for my aching back and neck told me I was skinny. She weighed me and she will have a diet at the ready on Tuesday. As in, I will have to gain some weight to be healthy.
I have never believed in fairy tales so I immediately answered her that technically I was not underweight and that my BMI is still 18.7 so that she shut the hell up. Though she insists on the diet.

I am so hangover that things are still spinning around, and to be honest I was still drunk at three in the afternoon dancing and jumping around like a maniac as if I was still in the club dancing the calories off.
I have acted like a total slut, kill me now. no I wont go into details this time, I wont.

Tomorrow another day of school and my first PE lesson which I don't even know I can attend because the physiotherapist has tortured me and everything is now worse than before.
Also forgot to make my homework or do any of the assignments I had been given in the last two weeks so tomorrow will be a long day. At least I do not have to work.
Oh by the way, I am starting to hate the feeling of being alone every break. But no one wants to stand outside because of the "bad" weather and because it's "so much fun" in the cafeteria.
Haven't spend a break there since a year now, and it makes me so much happier to not be around the temptation all the time.

So tired now and my headache is killing me so I am off to bed.

Much love,


  1. I wish I weighed as low as you.
    I wish I had your support, it's so hard on your own. Keep fighting and losing that weight.
    I hope you feel better soon <3

  2. i hope your headache goes.
    i hate those things.
    they hurt so bad.

  3. Wow, I totally know exactly what you are saying in the beginning. I had all these "expectations" for everything to be perfect once I was an adult. IT is anything but. Oh and then I read the next line about you being a psychopathic kid and literally laughed out loud. I love the way you write. Keep going love, rmember you're strong.