Lonely.

If you listen to the things that your friends say; you're gonna be lonely. Choose for yourself, be yourself. That's the one and only truth.

Friends are amazing, friends are the people who you turn to and who will turn to you.

They are your people. They are your family, at first things are awkward, but light and fun. Then, when you get to know each other you build up forms of trusts that can either make you or break you.

Believe me, trust has broken me before. Friends have often simply screwed me over. But at the same time I wouldn't want to live a life without friends. Because my friends are amazing.

But whenever they say, and I know that they honestly mean it, that I am perfect the way I am. That I don't have to lose weight, I will simply ignore them, I won't listen to them.

Now my friends are beautiful, and sweet and caring and I know I worry them with my stupid behavior, but all I would like is some support. I don't want them to look at me with those pitiful eyes whenever I swallow down some pills, saying they are just vitamins.

I know they know, and they know that they know that I am suffering from an eating disorder.

Friends are everything, they are your whole live, because when you are at school you're surrounded with no places to hide. And when you get out and about in town they are there with you, they are there with you when you cry and when you laugh.

To be fair, the people who read my blog, the people who don't or who do comment. I consider you lot as friends, my special group of friends. We're all suffering from ED's and we understand each other. If I have a bad day, you lot are the group of friends that really know me. That do understand that I have finally chosen myself. I choose myself in stead of my ex boyfriend, I choose myself over some of my friends.

You understand, because some of you have gone through the same. We all have the same goal, we have all seen the light and we are inspired.

We are the little group of people who will fight until the end, who will keep each other up. We respect every decision one of us makes, because we know that we would want to be accepted as well. We are different. We think different.

When we all started out we made a choice, and that choice is going to be a part of your life if you want it to be or not.

Listen to your friends, but stay true to yourself. and if an eating disorder is a part of yourself, don't let anyone make you doubt yourself. Because without Ana in my life, I would probably be more lonely than I could ever imagine.

So this is a blogpost to honor Ana, to honor my friends but especially honor the people who read my blog.

Thank you, without you I'd be terribly lonely.

Much Love,

A.Stone