Wednesday, 20 January 2010

I wish I could be a.. Barbie girl.

It had been a while ago since I have been playing with my dolls, my barbiedolls. I can't remember much of those times because so many things have happened, drowning out all the happy memories I once had. The one thing that I could remember was envying them.
I envied barbie dolls.

Looking at them now, it makes me realize that they are far from perfect, but at the same time, I would do anything to be a barbie doll.
Being cold and plastic, thin, nothing that could possibly hurt your feelings. Because, Ana was right as always. It's not the first time that a friend let me down and I know it wont be the last time. I know I am not worthy of being their friend, not before I am thinner, not before I am perfect.

Had a tough time coping today, whenever a friend lets me down I feel the urge to eat, eat away all my sorrows. I've been a good girl though, had one apple and a light dinner. Not too many food today. Have been working and burned off those kilograms, hopefully.
Tomorrow is going to be so much easier as school is taking me on a fieldtrip, no one who actually pays attention to whatever you eat.

It's nearly midnight and I have to get up in a few hours, must get my 6 hours sleep a day for my metabolism.

Stay strong and sweet dreams,



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