Tea and Honey

Maybe I  am overreacting but I have this mild case of OCD.

I have rituals I have to perform before I go to bed and as soon as I wake up and whenever I eat food. I am overly obsessive when it comes down to certain things and I can completely panic if something does not go my way.

On the other hand you could also just call me a control freak with serious compulsions for perfection. I can freak out if there is no English Breakfast Tea with honey in the morning, go completely nuts when my keys are not at their usual spot in the evening and so on.

My new friends are starting to notice things. That I eat as little as possible, that I need to be in control at ALL times. One of the reasons why I really don't like going to their places, because I am not in control over there.

I have literally been overanalyzing these three paragraphs above all night and when I jumped out of my bed to write it down it seemed to be a lot more. It can also be the lack of sleep that makes me convinced that this is interesting. Of any sort. It possibly isn't.

I just hate the fact that I don't have anything to write about. No I don't eat. No nothing seriously interesting happens in my life. Most of my friends are having new boyfriends or having relationship problems, starting a new life in a new city... Now I am back in my old room with my old roommates in the same town I was last year, going to the same university but this time I am actually doing something that I like. So I have my old friends, I make a couple of new friends but they aren't even necessary (gosh that sounds harsh..). 

Okay but honestly, I don't have anything exciting or whatever going on in my life right now. Or a problem or something that bothers me.

Oh wait. The handle of my suitcase broke off. So I am getting a new one today and I want the baby blue one. 

THAT IS THE MOST INTERESTING THING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I AM SO PATHETIC.

Okay and I accidentally slept with one of my roomies. I wanted to hurt M. but I don't have the guts to tell anyone 'bout it so that plan backfired. Especially when I realized I haven't been taking my pill because geez it makes me fat.. So I had to buy the morning after, have been extremely ill for three days and now I am covered in a nasty rash because I a oversensitive to the bloody hormones.

That said.

I will go to my lecture in a bit, and find a life.

Or at least a subject I can write about without wanting to kill myself.

Love,