Friday, 21 May 2010

Relationships, and everything that suddenly hits you in the face, back into reality.

Having a relationship is, as I have discovered, a reversed fairy tale at least, at my age it is. At first, you start with a happily ever after. Everything is perfect, you're together, you're in love. You go out on dates, hold hands and no one else in the whole wide world is as perfect as your boy/girlfriend. You want to be with that person, all of the time.
The next part, is when the problems start. The princess is a damsel in distress and the guy is trying to be a prince, well, most of the time at least. He's making you feel good, making you eat but when you weigh yourself the next morning, life is even worse.

I wonder, when it's all over, will it be like nothing has ever existed? Will it be like a whole period of your life has been gone to waste, and has it really vanished?

I know that since I have been dating my boyfriend I only mention all the bad parts, all his contra's and none of the pro's.
Now honestly, he is a lovely guy and I do love him to bits. But why is it that lately I have only been seeing the flaws, that I am annoyed with every single thing he does?

When he's around all the time, I am telling him I need my space. But right now I am honestly pissed off at him for making my already horrible day even worse for
a) not telling me about this barbeque thing, and only inviting me as soon as he knew I knew about it.
b) Not even saying hi as he walked right through the kitchen where I was drinking a nice cuppa with one of my friends, while he usually does give me a kiss.
c) Telling me he had some lame fantasy about me and spareribs.

What the

My boyfriend is one of those guys who can eat whatever the fuck he wants to eat, without gaining weight. He can do anything he wants to do, without having to worry about a thing. It's so unfair thinking that I can't even take two slices of Pizza while he eats both his ánd the rest of my pizza, without feeling guilty or gaining weight.
It's even worse that I kicked him out 30 minutes later to "take a shower". Or in our language, get rid of all the food that he had stuffed down my throat.

He also told me he would never fall in love with a skinny girl. Should I take this personal? What the hell does he mean? That I am a fat cow?
He says he wouldn't fall in love with a skinny girl right? He told me loves me, all the time. That he's never felt something this strong for anyone ever before.
Does this mean, that after all the hard work, starvation and working out that I am still the fat cow I used to be?

Does this mean I am the fat ugly princess who will never be perfect and happy?
One thing I am sure of, as long as I am fat, I'll never be perfectly happy.

It's been a long, horrible day on which I fell a thousand times, bruised everything and broke everything. I think it's time to go to bed and dream of being perfect, once again.

Sorry for all the complaints lately!! :(

Sweet dreams everyone,

Much love A.Stone


  1. Ahh whatever whenever and maintain a six pack...bastards.

    You are not a fat cow! And if he loves you, he means it. He thinks you're perfect.

    Be strong, girlie!


  2. your not a fat cow.
    its ok, it helps to blog everything out, i think anyway. xo.