Sunday 31 January 2010

Failure.

Just when I thought I could do anything, that I could win this battle I failed.

I can't believe what happened last night, I was at a party and the whole day I had been perfect, perfect according plan. One apple and a small salad, lots of water and no soda's or whatsoever so far.

Of course happiness never lasts long in this world.
Alcohol is probably my biggest enemy at this moment, after just two small glasses of wine I felt it, I was starting to get tipsy, for the first time in months I felt genuinely happy so I thought; why stop right now, the alcohol will get out of my system one way or another.

I think it would have worked everywhere, but here. Because just as I had another few more glasses of the lovely wine, the snacks arrived.

I have never been more ashamed in my life. I ate, like a filthy pig I ate crisps, ate cheese, tons of cheese and at the moment, I enjoyed myself.

Please yell at me, be pissed off at me just like I was. I have been pulling out my hair, been trying to barf it all out with success.
All I can say, that right now, all I can say about myself is that I am an..

Epic fail.


Love,

A.Stone

1 comment:

  1. I don't know about you, but when I binge after days of success, I get really depressed and keep doing it. Again and again.
    Just stay focused and get through this day and if you can do that, I'm sure things will be fine this week :)
    We all hate that shameful feeling. Do something today you can be proud of tomorrow. And last night will only be a memory.

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